THE 10 DRUNKEST CITIES IN MICHIGAN

It’s not always the big cities and college towns that are getting ‘Michigan Drunk’ the most.

This article is an opinion based on facts and is meant as infotainment. Don’t freak out.

Is there anything wrong with being called the drunkest city in your state? Especially in Michigan, where you guys are …really good at your alcohol consumption.

I mean 25% of you have admitted to binge drinking at least once in the last month, according to CBS.
Hey, we’re not judging. Drinking is fun. We’re just making observations.

So, how do you decide which city drinks the most? By the number of available places to buy booze, and by how often people are talking about drinking, that’s how.

Plus, we thought why not add in a stereotype? Cause, you know, drinking is one reason for divorce, and something that divorced people do a lot of.

Using that criteria, it’s not hard to scrape the internet, run some scientific data on where the biggest partiers might live in Michigan, and then put out a list.

You’re probably thinking ‘Show me the proof!” The data never lies, does it?

So, hold our beers and watch this. After analyzing all cities with a decent amount of people in them, we came up with this list as The Drunkest Cities in Michigan:

1. Traverse City
2. Mount Clemens
3. Ferndale
4. Muskegon
5. Benton Harbor
6. Kalamazoo
7. Escanaba
8. Flint
9. Grand Haven
10. Bay City

Many of these are mid sized cities in Michigan with many bars in town or nearby, where there’s a higher than average divorce rate. Studies have indicated that when one or both partners in a marriage are alcoholics, that couple is three times more likely to divorce.

Read on below to see where your town ranked.

What drunken criteria did we use?

In order to rank the drunkest cities in Michigan, we had to determine what criteria defines someone who drinks a lot.

We threw a lot of criteria at this one in order to get the best, most complete results possible. Using Yelp and Sperling’s Best Places, this is the criteria we used:

• Number of bars and pubs per capita
• Number of wineries per capita
• Number of liquor stores per capita
• Each city’s drunk related tweets within the last week
• Each city’s divorce rate

For geo-located tweets, we measured the following raw number of tweets that came from within a city’s general area: #Drunk, #Party, #Beer, #Wine and #Cocktails

Note: For the sake of getting reliable numbers, we counted places within a city’s border, as well as within a short driving distance.

1. Traverse City

The gang at Union Street Station, Traverse City, MI. From their Facebook page

Population: 14,674
Divorce rate: 16%
Bars per capita: 1st in the state
Liquor stores per capita: 1st

Hot damn, Traverse City, you are tore up from the floor up! We’re impressed. Based on the data, it sounds like you are all having a really, really good time.

Of course, when you have the most bars per capita, the most liquor stores per capita, and the 4th highest divorce rate in the state, what else are you gonna do here?

Plus, there are 12 breweries in TC.

And, it sounds like you guys are talking about drinking a lot, too. We counted 27 drunk related tweets in the last week. This was a good one:

“My parents tricked me into going to bar with them so they could get me drunk and tell me they might be moving to Traverse City.”

Maybe you should go with them!

2. Mount Clemens

The gang at Your Mothers, Mount Clemens, MI. From their Facebook page

Population: 16,314
Divorce rate: 16%
Bars per capita: 7th in the state
Liquor stores per capita: 8th in the state

You’re probably thinking, ‘Mount Where?” But, yes, Michiganders, this under the radar place is drinking a lot more than you are.

Where is Mount Clemens? It’s a quiet, blue collar suburb about 3 beers north of Detroit. But we’re pretty sure that you folks in Mount Clemens probably know all the back roads, right (wink, wink?)

Here, they have the 3rd highest divorce rate in the state. Can you blame them? They’re out drinking all the time. When do they have time time to work on their relationship?

3. Ferndale

Orchid, Ferndale, MI. Google Maps.

Population: 19,900
Divorce rate: 12.5%
Bars per capita: 3rd
Liquor stores per capita: 4th in Michigan

Ferndale is just about right next door to Mount Clemens. In fact, they probably bump into one another at the bars all the time. But it sounds like Ferndale should give Mount Clemens some relationship advice, since they have a much lower divorce rate.

Here in Ferndale, there are lots of bars and liquor stores within a small area. Most of the boozy behavior takes place along 9 Mile Road. Here, there are a large number of dance clubs, bars and restaurants,
If you live in the greater Detroit area, and you haven’t popped into Ferndale, you’ve been missing out on some fun apparently.

4. Muskegon

Lakeshore Tavern, Muskegon, MI. Google Maps

Population: 38,401
Divorce rate: 18%
Bars per capita: 14th in MI
Liquor stores per capita: 17th

Wow, Muskegon couples. Almost 1 in 5 of you has already made it to splitsville. We’re not blaming you, with all of the opportunities to drink there.

Was it the drinking that drove away your spouse, or are you frolicking at the bar scene because you’re single and alone? Either way, there are probably some really interesting moments that take place around midnight in Muskegon area bars.

5. Benton Harbor

Babe’s Lounge, Benton Harbor, MI. From their Facebook page

Population: 10,038
Divorce rate: 13%
Bars per capita: 7th in the state
Liquor stores per capita: 6th

Christ, Benton Harbor, you’re a mess. You’re broke, many of you are out of work, and you’re hitting the bottle? We get it; there isn’t a lot to do down there, especially during the winter months.

Perhaps you need to check out a few of the art galleries in town. They do have free wine, sometimes.
Benton Harbor has the 7th highest number of bars in town, and the 6th most liquor stores. You know your town is a drinkin’ town when the city’s website has a bunch of bars listed on its Places of Interest page.

6. Kalamazoo

Old Burdick’s, Kalamazoo, MI. Google Maps

Population: 74,262
Divorce rate: 11.4%
Bars per capita: 11h in MI
Liquor stores per capita: 12th

We’re impressed, Kalamazoo. Despite all of the drinking that you do, you’re really keeping it together, relationship wise. You have the lowest divorce rate on this list. Maybe that’s because a larger percentage of your population are college students.

There are 8 breweries in Kalamazoo, and a high number of bars and liquor stores.

7. Escanaba

Liquor Store, Escanaba, MI. Google Maps

Population: 12,616
Divorce rate: 15.5%
Bars per capita: 15th in MI
Liquor stores per capita: 18th in the state

We’re pretty sure you guys expected to see a lot more U.P. cities on this list. Because everyone knows that the Yoopers can pretty much drink anyone under the table. But the the fact is, that, according to the data, there aren’t as many bars and liquor stores up here as there are down state.

But we get it. You guys make up for it in a big way. We’ve heard stories about you guys pulling kegs home on sleds in January. Then you all like to get on your roof and jump off into the 10 foot drifts.
Actually, that sounds like fun.

There were only a few drunk related tweets in this area, but this one is a gem:
“There is drunk and then there is escanaba drunk.”

8. Flint

The Wooden Keg, Flint, MI. Google Maps

Population: 102,434
Divorce rate: 15%
Bars per capita: 21st in Michigan
Liquor stores per capita: 5th

While you’re waiting to get a decent job, you might as well spend time in the bars in Flint. Actually, inside of a bar in Flint might be a lot safer than wondering around on the streets at night.
Flint led the state in the number of drunk related tweets. Most were kinda’ sad – people talking about drunk drivers with kids in the car – or people talking about house parties.

9. Grand Haven

The Kirby House, Grand Haven, MI. Google Maps

Population: 10,412
Divorce rate: 14.6%
Bars per capita: 5th in the state
Liquor stores per capita: 35th

If you’ve ever been to Grand Haven, the numbers probably won’t surprise you. There are quote a few bars and restaurants on the main drag. And, since it’s more of a quiet, lakeside town, there aren’t very many liquor stores.

The number of people that hit the Big D is really high in Grand Haven; nearly 1 in 6 couples have split up here.

If you’re one of them, things will get better. Heck, head on down to the tavern right now. The next Mrs. You is probably sitting at the end of the bar waiting for you to come talk to her.

Here’s to that!

10. Bay City

Bemo’s Bar, Bay City, MI. Google Maps

Population: 34,392
Divorce rate: 13.4%
Liquor stores per capita: 22nd in MI
Bars per capita: 11th

Where in the world is Bay City? It’s just about far enough north of Saginaw that you could probably pound your drink before you got home.

Bay City’s ‘About Our City’ official webpage is http://www.downtownbaycity.com/WineWalk.htm. So they obviously want you to come to Bay City and drink a lot of wine. They’re not hiding it at all.
There are three breweries in Bay City, and a number of places to get hammered here. If you know someone in Bay City, tag them in this post. Odds are they’ll check Facebook as soon as their hangover wears off.

There You Have It
If you’re measuring the locations in Michigan where there are a high number of divorced people, bars and liquor stores, and where people are talking about drinking the most often, this is an accurate list.
And while you might think the larger cities and college towns are ‘more drunk’ than these places, when you measure the percentage of people who have access to alcohol, and who are separated, it makes sense. Cause, the data never lies, does it?

If you’re curious enough, here are the least drunk places in Michigan. Or the most sober, if you will:

1. Forest Hills (Pop. 25,867)
2. East Grand Rapids (Pop. 10,694)
3. Jenison (Pop. 16,538)
4. Haslett (Pop. 19,220)
5. Allendale (Pop. 17,579)

We also wrote about the worst places in Michigan if you didn’t happen to see it. Click here to read it.

City	Divorce Rate	Rank
Traverse_City	15.99%	1
Mount_Clemens	16.05%	2
Ferndale	12.57%	3
Muskegon	17.97%	4
Benton_Harbor	12.81%	5
Kalamazoo	11.40%	6
Escanaba	15.52%	7
Flint	15.22%	8
Grand_Haven	14.60%	9
Bay_City	13.47%	10
Monroe	14.91%	11
Saginaw	15.04%	12
Niles	15.05%	13
Rochester	11.69%	14
Jackson	14.71%	15
Clawson	15.26%	16
Cadillac	19.36%	17
Romulus	14.52%	18
Coldwater	14.29%	19
Royal_Oak	12.42%	20
Marquette	10.50%	21
Birmingham	11.83%	22
Ypsilanti	9.31%	23
Fenton	12.40%	24
Port_Huron	15.09%	25
Alpena	14.57%	26
Farmington	12.18%	27
Wyandotte	12.99%	27
Grand_Rapids	11.12%	29
Lansing	14.44%	30
Berkley	11.71%	31
Ann_Arbor	7.24%	32
Holland	8.65%	33
Madison_Heights	13.69%	34
Battle_Creek	15.07%	35
Sault_Ste._Marie	12.24%	36
Detroit	12.48%	37
South_Lyon	12.55%	38
Ionia	15.80%	39
Hamtramck	6.70%	40
Auburn_Hills	11.78%	41
Eastpointe	13.79%	42
Highland_Park	15.82%	43
Wayne	15.67%	44
Big_Rapids	7.61%	45
Mount_Pleasant	6.13%	46
Adrian	11.71%	47
East_Lansing	3.81%	48
Southfield	15.20%	49
Roseville	14.26%	50
Saint_Clair_Shores	11.00%	51
Grandville	9.54%	52
Taylor	13.69%	53
Pontiac	14.22%	54
Trenton	14.88%	55
Garden_City	12.28%	55
Fraser	11.80%	57
Hazel_Park	13.25%	58
Lincoln_Park	14.63%	59
Woodhaven	15.33%	60
Harper_Woods	13.15%	61
Warren	11.02%	62
Allen_Park	11.18%	63
Southgate	14.40%	64
Burton	13.41%	64
Westland	13.71%	66
Novi	10.03%	67
Sturgis	15.18%	68
Portage	10.67%	69
Troy	7.24%	70
Livonia	10.06%	71
Grosse_Pointe_Park	8.00%	72
Riverview	12.99%	73
Owosso	14.94%	74
Okemos	8.31%	75
Beverly_Hills	9.21%	76
Dearborn_Heights	10.51%	77
Comstock_Park	11.65%	78
Dearborn	10.06%	79
Melvindale	13.61%	80
Inkster	14.72%	81
Midland	10.56%	82
Beecher	15.96%	83
New_Baltimore	10.64%	84
Wixom	10.69%	85
Rochester_Hills	8.48%	86
Muskegon_Heights	14.88%	86
Oak_Park	12.48%	88
Walker	10.66%	89
Cutlerville	13.98%	90
Holt	12.39%	91
Waverly	13.02%	92
Wyoming	11.34%	93
Sterling_Heights	8.46%	94
Norton_Shores	11.50%	95
Kentwood	10.64%	96
Northview	11.63%	97
Allendale	3.63%	98
Haslett	9.76%	99
Jenison	9.16%	100
East_Grand_Rapids	8.26%	101
Forest_Hills	5.31%	102

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THE TEN WORST PLACES TO LIVE IN MICHIGAN

Thrillist just ranked Michigan as the best state in the nation, which should really come as no surprise to anyone. With its four legitimate seasons, natural wonders, regional diversity and seemingly endless waterfront, it’s no wonder that Michigan would top all 49 of the lesser states on any list you might want to throw together.
All the same, anyone familiar with Michigan knows there are places that need some real TLC right now. And it’s not just Detroit. In fact, there are cities that might need a hug even more than Detroit. Here are the 10 cities in the Great Lakes State who have it a little rough right now.

1. Flint
2. Beecher
3. Escanaba
4. Buena Vista
5. Lapeer
6. Highland Park
7. Greenville
8. Saginaw
9. Pontiac
10. Muskegon

How we determined which cities have the most issues in Michigan

To figure out cities that are in need of some attention, we rely on a complex algorithm that considers only the kinds of things people like, and then it tabulates what cities have the least amount of those things. We don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that people like the following things:

• Good schools
• Lots of jobs
• Low crime
• High incomes
• Solid home prices
• Lots of things to do

Then, the algorithm generates multiple lists of the cities that are the worst in all of these categories. After a crunching of the numbers, a list of all of the cities magically appears listing them from worst to best.

How we crunched the numbers

We threw a lot of criteria at this one in order to get the best, most complete results possible. Using FBI crime data, the government census, Bureau of Labor Statistics and Sperling’s Best Places, this is the criteria we used:

• Population Density (The lower the worse)
• Highest Unemployment Rates
• Adjusted Median Income (Median income adjusted for the cost of living)
• High Housing Vacancy Rate
• Education (Low expenditures per student and high Student Teacher Ratio)
• Long Commute Times
• High Crime
• The Worst Weather

Read on below to learn more about which Michigan residents need some hugs. For this list, we used the 177 cities that qualified for our rankings due to both their population sizes and the way in which their governments are organized.
This list is a scientific analysis based on real data and is completely unbiased.

1. Flint

Source: Flickr user NESJUMPAN

Population: 103,263
Unemployment rate: 4
Median income: $36,081
Crime index: 163.4
Flint needs some tough love.
Years ago, someone told me the sun never shines in Flint. That’s not true, of course, but you can understand why she might say that when you analyze certain facts about Flint. Of the 176 cities considered in this ranking, Flint had the least to be proud of across the board.
Not only does Flint have Michigan’s lowest home value rank, but it also had the fourth and fifth highest rankings in unemployment and crime respectively. Statistics like that will certainly make the sun shine a bit dimmer, and it will win you the title of “Worst City in Michigan.”
If you know anyone in Flint, tag them on Facebook and tell them you love them. They can probably use it right about now.

2. Beecher

Source: Wikipedia

Population: 10,963
Unemployment rate: 46
Median income: $35,425
Crime index: 133.0
It is sadly fitting how the most famous event ever to occur in Beecher was a tornado that killed 116 people. Since then, it seems like the Beecher name has only ever been associated with awful news.
In fact, the most newsmaking episode to emerge from Beecher in recent years was the fight to recall board members who took a $36,000 trip to San Diego at the taxpayers’ expense. Rather than taking trips, their time would have been better served handling Beecher’s crime, student-teacher ratio, adjusted income and home value ranks, which are all in the bottom sixth of all Michigan cities. This is the kind of city mismanagement that will put your hometown on a list of Michigan’s worst cities.
Beecher isn’t an actual city, it’s what the state refers to as a census designated place. Even more reason to send folks in Beecher some love.

3. Escanaba

Source: Flickr user msprague

Population: 12,609
Unemployment rate: 8.7%
Median income: $33,349
Crime index: 121.2
Escanaba probably shouldn’t even be on this list, because it’s a great community with a lot going on. Even so, Escanaba’s rankings do indicate that perhaps they could use a hug right about now.
Although it ranks in the bottom half of our rankings in crime and education, Escanaba stands out as being the only Upper Peninsula city in our top ten. However, if you’re a huge fan of living on the lake, and like the experience of living in the U.P., you can do worse than in Escanaba.
Future job growth is also expected to grow to 36% in coming years here, too. (Hugs).

4. Buena Vista

Source: Flickr user snre

Population: 6,498
Unemployment rate: 63
Median income: $33,844
Crime index: 137.7
If it seems unthinkable for the small suburb of a major crime-infested city to somehow be worse off than the large city, think again. Although Saginaw has long been associated with high crime and high unemployment, life for the nearly 7,000 residents of Buena Vista is actually worse according to our statistics.
Buena Vista ranks in the bottom half of every major category, and the city’s home values are the sixth lowest in Michigan. Couple that with crime and income ranks in the bottom eighth of all Michigan cities, and you’ll understand exactly how Buena Vista could be a worse place to live than Saginaw. #SendBuenaVistaLove

5. Lapeer

Source: Google

Population: 8,899
Unemployment rate: 19
Median income: $39,293
Crime index: 109.1
Lapeer is the birthplace of Oklahoma City bombing conspirator Terry Nichols, and it seems sadly appropriate that such one of the smallest cities on this list was able to produce one of the worst human beings on earth. The folks up here could use some kind thoughts right about now.
Although it has the highest home values of any city on this list, it still ranks in Michigan’s bottom third in crime, and it’s firmly in the state’s bottom fifth in income, education and unemployment. Further contributing to Lapeer’s ranking among the dregs of the state is the fact that it spends less money on its students that all but four cities in Michigan.

6. Highland Park

Source: Flickr user aduthie

Population: 11,971
Unemployment rate: 1
Median income: $26,361
Crime index: 165.3
Highland Park is entirely surrounded by Detroit, and it is so bad that Detroit’s government won’t even consider absorbing Highland Park into the larger city due to the fact that all of Detroit’s unflattering crime and unemployment statistics would instantly be made worse. If you live in Detroit and you’re passing through Highland Park, give a friendly wave and a smile. You need each other’s support right about now.
Highland Park ranks first in all of Michigan in unemployment, third in overall crime, second from the bottom in ideal student-teacher ratios in classrooms, and it has the fourth worst average income level in the state. In fact, the only thing saving Highland Park from ranking as the worst overall city in Michigan is the fact that it easily ranks in the state’s top third in money spent per student, making its terrible rankings in the other areas all the more baffling.

7. Greenville

Source: Wikipedia

Population: 8,465
Unemployment rate: 36
Median income: $34,156
Crime index: 124.1
Greenville may seem like a surprise entry on this list considering its natural features, Danish festival and community theater. However, having several major factories and businesses either close or skip town will take its toll on any city.
Last year, Greenville’s incomes ranked just shy of Michigan’s basement, and its crime rate is in the state’s top twenty percent. In all other major categories we considered, Greenville ranked squarely in the state’s bottom half. No matter how great your festivals are, statistics like these will land you among cities in Michigan that have some issues to address.

8. Saginaw

Source: Flickr user spiesteleviv

Population: 51,776
Unemployment rate: 5
Median income: $36,392
Crime index: 151.1
When Flint made its appearance earlier on this list, you probably suspected its Mid-Michigan partner wouldn’t be far behind. When the region was hammered years ago by the decline of U.S. manufacturing, Flint and Saginaw bore the brunt of the blow. Not much has changed since then.
Saginaw landed in the bottom in all of the areas where cities prefer to be at the top, and that includes the fifth worst unemployment rank, the eighth worst crime rank, and home values in the state’s bottom ten percent. Sadly, none of this helps the perception that Saginaw is one of Michigan’s worst cities. #SendSaginawHugs

9. Pontiac

Source: Flickr user davehogg

Population: 60,105
Unemployment rate: 2
Median income: $37,435
Crime index: 144.1
There would be a temptation to put Pontiac on this list simply because the Silverdome, with its deflated roof and gutted interior, is one of the biggest eyesores in the state. It’s hard to think of it as the sight where 93,000 fans once gathered to watch Wrestlemania III.
An eyesore that definitely landed Pontiac on this list of worst cities is the city’s unemployment rank, which was second from the bottom, incomes and home values in Michigan’s lowest 20 percent, and a crime rate in the top 20 percent. With statistics like that, we couldn’t keep Pontiac off this list even if the Silverdome’s ruins were made of actual silver.
The people of Pontiac are undoubtedly trying to pull themselves up from their bootstraps and could use a kind thought right about now.

10. Muskegon

Source: Flickr user ericrichardson

Population: 38,061
Unemployment rate: 18
Median income: $32,253
Crime index: 147.1
Any city that could produce someone like Iggy Pop would be expected to be a little on the rough side, and Muskegon doesn’t disappoint in that regard, although it does disappoint its residents.
Incomes in Muskegon rank the seventh lowest in Michigan, its crime rate and student-teacher ranks are both in the state’s bottom ten percent, and its unemployment and home values are in the bottom 20 percent. Even though Muskegon spends more money per student than almost any other city in the state, this is the one city in Michigan where you have to ask whether holding lakefront property is worth it.
So, that’s the list. Granted, Michigan is still the reigning best state in the country, and you can be proud to dwell in Michigan no matter where you live. Even if you live in Flint, things could be a lot worse; you COULD be living in Ohio.
Disclaimer: This article is an opinion based on data. It should not be taken as fact.

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