*Excerpt from "Sith Doctrine" by The Church of Sithism"

* From Sith traits section*

In the following sections I will be instructing you my Sith learner on the basic 10 Sith traits you must master to help become a powerful Sith.

1. Control- Control enables a harmonious containment of Force energy characteristic of present centeredness. It allows energy to flow freely in the direction desired. This dynamic is often measured in terms of constant inner control.

Pg.232

2. Discipline- Discipline consists of a marked ability to access and analyze strong and weak points in the environment, in others, and in yourself. It allows you to harness energy and it cultivates strength. The discipline of the Sith Warrior is the ability to remain vigilant, even under the most stressful conditions.

Pg.276

3. Patience- Patience is forbearance without laxness. It gives you the capacity to listen and wait. your silence grants you access to deeper knowledge, silent knowledge. It provides balance to keep other traits in check. As a result, the Force moves quietly within and without smoothly creating the circumstances you intent sets in motion. Without it you resurface into the ways of the sheep, with it you find power.

Pg.332

4. Balance- Balance requires you to tune yourself to the natural rhythms of the Force. In doing so you maintain your balance of self with your environment, letting you blend in with your surroundings never seeming out of place.

Pg.375

5. Will- Success in any endeavor results from proper accumulation and use of personal energy. The essence of becoming a Sith warrior is, trimming and shaping your life to the natural currents of the Force by reducing unnecessary expenditures of energy. Activating your will.

Pg.417

6. Ruthlessness- Unrestricted determination marks this trait. It is boldness without recklessness, command without arrogance, and is a basic premise of The Sith.

Pg.452

7. Cunning- Cunning involves examining a situation so you may get what you want without warping someone’s energy. Aiming for accuracy, you study the features of a situation and the forces influencing your battleground. You remain prepared and innovative. You need to know where you are headed and what you want to accomplish. Furthermore, cunning involves using the art of deception without being deceived. Without it you have to rely on other peoples assessments and conclusions. With it you develop resourcefulness and adaptability.

Pg.512

8. Sweetness- To balance ruthlessness and cunning you present a likeable facade. However this sweetness often belies that you have no pity. Without being condescending, to have cold, calculating eyes.

Pg. 559

9.....

*End of excerpt.*

People of Walmart

Joyce Joiner Todd

August 24, 2015 · iOS

 

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart
Dear Mrs. Woolf,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are "documented by our video surveillance cameras":
1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the
employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag of
chips.
6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the
children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and
blankets from the bedding department - to which twenty children
obliged.
8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
Emergency Medics were called.
9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.
10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.
12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.
13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed
through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.
And last, but not least:
16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in
here.' One of the Staff passed out.

CONFUCIUS SAY...

• War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left. 
• Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.
•  Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out." 
• A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose. 
• When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt. 
• Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house. 
• He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing 
• Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
• A smile is like tight underwear ... it makes your cheeks go up.
• A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
• Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• Man good at hooking worm is master bait-er.
• One who is always constipated, is always full of shit.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted...and man who run in front of car get tired.
• People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.