CONFUCIUS SAY...

• War does not determine who's right. War determine who's left. 
• Man who sleeps on road, wakes up feeling run down.
•  Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out." 
• A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose. 
• When called an idiot sometimes is better to be quiet, than open mouth and remove all doubt. 
• Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house. 
• He who thinks only of number one must remember this number is next to nothing 
• Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
• A smile is like tight underwear ... it makes your cheeks go up.
• A man with his hands in pockets feels foolish, but a man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
• Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.
• Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
• Man good at hooking worm is master bait-er.
• One who is always constipated, is always full of shit.
• Man who run behind car get exhausted...and man who run in front of car get tired.
• People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.